Gratitude has power! Melody Beattie explains that:
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
I have been keeping a gratitude journal for years. And on mornings when I am in a rush or just don’t feel like writing in my journal, I just say at least three things I am grateful for, usually out loud. I do one or the other, either write or speak, without fail, every morning.
So today, I want to say Thank You to you, my readers. There are over 6,000 or you reading my blog, and I am so grateful. Grateful for your time and energy. And grateful to those of you that take the time to comment, thank you.
And today I am also grateful to the readers of my book, This Way Up.Thank you for reading my book in whatever form you read it, whether on kindle or paperback. And a huge thank you to those of you who then took the time to review my book on Amazon. Book reviews are so important to an author and to getting the book and it’s message out there.
I appreciate the comments that women have made about the course and the love shared!
“One of the best courses on transformation and finding purpose that I have found in a long time. Patti eloquently shares in bite-sized chunks that really help consolidate the information. I am applying the exercises and I am already seeing a positive outlook in the way I’m facing challenges. Her approach is structured, but then you feel as if you’re being coached and guided by an old friend.” – Sally
And today I am so incredibly grateful to the people at International Excellence Book Awards! My book, This Way Up, was selected Self-Help Book of the Year! I am grateful beyond measure!
So as JFK so eloquently said, ‘the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.’ So today I will focus on living with an attitude of gratitude in everything that comes my way. And I will start by posting this, in gratitude to all of you.
I’ll close with one of my favourite clips by Oprah – Oprah’s Gratitude Journal.
I’d love to hear about what you are grateful for today. It always brightens my day to hear gratitude stories. And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.
Do you ever feel like your inner voice is not your best friend? Do you find that voice telling you that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong? My inner chatter is often telling me that I’m not doing ‘it’ right. It doesn’t matter what ‘it’ is – doing a task, helping someone to do something, even just trying to meditate. I used to think that I was alone in this and that I was just flawed and hopeless. Then I started working with other women in workshops and discovered that almost all of us do this one way or another. It is painful to realize how many of us believe these negative voices in our heads. I wrote about this topic recently on Thrive Global.
Most of us received plenty of negative messages growing up, and usually those messages are blindly accepted and believed. These negative messages from our inner critic create new neural pathways which become embedded in our brains. This becomes negative inner chatter creating limiting beliefs which adversely impacts us in many ways.
A neural pathway is the way that information travels through the neurons, or nerve cells of the brain. We create new neural pathways every time we hear or experience something new. The more we experience something, the more embedded this pathway becomes, and unfortunately, a lot of us have some very negative messages firmly rooted in our brains.
Once those neural pathways are deeply embedded, changing them is not an easy task.
Is there a way to overcome the negative stories that we once heard and now continue to tell ourselves? Is there a way to shift those pathways so that they are less destructive? Yes! There is a practice which you can start using right now, which will bring about changes in the neural pathways that keep you stuck. Using Creative Positive Reframing, you can take limiting beliefs and creatively transform them so they become supportive rather than destructive. You can reframe and create a new perspective on how you think by using these seven tools:
Pay attention — Pay attention to your thought process.
Action: A good way to pay attention to your thought process is to pay attention to how your body feels. You can tell if the thoughts are self-defeating and destructive if they negatively impact your body; for example, a knot in your stomach or a lump in your throat, clenched jaw or tight shoulders.
Practice: Scan your body to check in, notice any tight spots or knots. Observe/pay attention to the thoughts that you are focusing on when you feel tight; think about why you want to change those thoughts; what is the negative impact on your life?
Get the negative out — Write out the negative.
Action: Nature abhors a vacuum. When you cannot get out of a negative thought spiral — write it out. Get rid of the negative to make room for the positive.
Practice: Get negative thoughts out of your head by emptying it out on paper. Think of it as an emotional enema! Write about all the negativity spiralling in your head. Allow a stream of consciousness to flow and let it all come out. And then tear the paper up.
Replace the negative with positive — Use positive statements and questions to replace the negative
Action: Negative self-talk can be replaced by positivity with the help of a series of deliberate affirmations and questions. This creates new neural pathways and frees you from the negative spiral. However, sometimes when we use affirmations that do not feel real, our brain does not believe it, and this can embed the negative even more deeply. For example, if you are struggling to pay the rent and you say to yourself: ‘I am wealthy and have plenty of money for all of my needs’, perhaps your thoughts will rebel with: ‘Well, that’s not true’ — and then will go on to prove how wrong you are, throwing you further down the negative spiral.
Practice: Creative positive statements wherever possible; and try creating questions as well. Research shows that the use of questions instead of statements works effectively. Questions work with the brain’s natural inquisitive nature; pose a question and your brain will work to find an answer, creating more positive neural pathways automatically. So if when you say “I am wealthy” and your brain rebels; try asking for its help by saying something like “Money is coming to me easily and effortlessly. What do I need to do to increase my cash flow?”
Think about the ideal and be clear why you want it — Create an ideal scenario and know why it is important to you.
Action: In order to create new neural pathways and escape the negative spiral, it’s important to have a replacement to start thinking about. For example, if you are stuck in fear about money, and in a negative loop, start thinking about the flip side and create a picture of the ideal.
Practice: Describe your ideal financial situation, be as specific as possible. Have fun with this: let your imagination be your guide. You don’t need to write this out, just tell yourself the story. Picture yourself living with plenty of money. See yourself living the life of your dreams; actually feel how good it feels. And then focus on the why; why is it important? For example, allow yourself really examine why having more money would make a difference in your life. What is the deepest reason you want this to manifest? Keep going deeper and deeper into why you want to achieve this until you feel like you have hit the heart of it. You will know it when you have hit it, there will be an emotional charge linked to it. Allow yourself to feel the depth of that emotion.
Creative visualization — Picture the ideal and embed it in your brain
Action: Creative Visualization is a technique which uses your own power of ‘seeing’ or visualizing something to attain that which you most want, or want to change. It involves using the mind to see that which you want to achieve; or using the mind to change the negative into positive. You already use this technique every day. Unfortunately, we often use it in the negative. The key to visualization is to create a mindset that you already have that which you are trying to attain, and to believe that you deserve the positive result.
Practice: Relax and take time to do this. Close your eyes and let the movie of you having your heart’s desire run in your mind. Enjoy the process. The more you do this, the more deeply embedded this vision becomes.
Stay positive in the process — Keep a positive attitude as you practice
Action: The field of Positive Psychology points out many benefits of staying positive and being happy. Happiness brings social rewards, helps people recover faster from illness, and have more resilience. Happy people feel like they are in control and are empowered and therefore usually feel more confidence, optimism, and a sense of well-being. These are all good reasons to try to remain in a positive mindset, but one of the main obstacles to positivity is that our brains are wired to look for and focus on threats. This mechanism was helpful back when we were hunters and gatherers, but now this mindset breeds pessimism and negativity because the mind tends to wander until it finds a threat. But there are many methods to overcome the brain’s negative bias.
Practice: The most straightforward method is to focus on love and compassion, forgiveness and gratitude. These positive mind-sets shift your focus from the negative to the positive. Even simply thinking about someone you love or something you are grateful for, can help you shift from a negative mindset to a positive one.
Be creative — Creativity helps us shift from the negative to the positive
Action: While you are focusing on shifting limiting beliefs into more positive and supportive beliefs, it is helpful to be creative in the process. An expression of creativity, in any form, can be helpful in shifting our mood and removing us from a negative spiral. Not only that, but repressed creativity can have the opposite effect, and can ultimately express itself in unhealthy ways, such as bad relationships, stress, neurotic or addictive behaviors. Perhaps the most common manifestation of repressed creativity in women is depression, which, of course, only increases the negative downward spiral.
Practice: There are so many ways we can get creative, and they all involve play: start journaling and play with words; get some oil pastels and play with color; go outside, garden, and play in the dirt; learn an instrument, dance, and play with music; cook and play with spices. There is no right or wrong way to be creative. The only important thing is to allow ourselves to connect with our own creativity.
The next time you find yourself falling into a negative spiral, use these seven tools to tackle those limiting beliefs, and transform them so that they are supportive rather than destructive.
I want to close with a wonderful video clip with Lisa Nichols and Marci Shimoff, appropriately entitled: ‘How to Stop Negative Self Talk.’
I’d love to hear about how you get your inner critic to shut up. We all need as much help as possible with that negative committee! And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.
“Finding your calling — it’s not passive. When people have found their calling, they’ve made tough decisions and sacrifices in order to do the work they were meant to do. In other words, you don’t just “find” your calling — you have to fight for it. And it’s worth the fight. People who’ve found their calling have a fire about them,”
Isay has listened to thousands of people tell their story and describe fighting to find their purpose. He describes his amazing work with StoryCorps in this great TED Talk – Everyone Around You Has a Story the World Needs to Hear:
1. Your calling is at the intersection of a Venn diagram of three things: doing something you’re good at, feeling appreciated, and believing your work is making people’s lives better.
That diagram shows the ‘sweet spot’ – intersecting three things: Doing something you are good at; intersecting with the knowledge that you are making people’s lives better – service; and feeling appreciated for this work. This idea mirrors Albert Schweitzer’s quote:
“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.”
Your calling takes courage and doesn’t always pay well. But we know it when we are doing it. We get in the flow; we feel good about ourselves and our work; time flies; and although the pay check may not be great, we keep doing it because we know it is right for us.
So I think it’s quite fitting to close with this video entitled: How to Know Your Life’s Purpose in 5 Minutes! After all, at almost 60 many of us are running out of time!
I’d love to hear if you’ve found your life’s purpose and how you found it. And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.
Happy New Year! I think the general consensus is that 2016 was a rough year for most people, on so many levels. But in this post I don’t want to focus on politics or difficulties, but instead on cultivating gratitude. A new year is the perfect time to be cultivating gratitude and a renewed focus on what you appreciate. And 2017 is in particular a great place to start because from a numerological perspective, 2017 is a “one” year. (In short: 2+0+1+7 = 10 = 1+0 = 1.) Numerology looks at time in nine-year cycles, in which a “one” year begins a new nine-year cycle of creativity, learning and growth. It is a time of intentions and planning for the next phase. The intentions and foundations you build in 2017 can help shape the upcoming years. A “one” year is the perfect time to set intentions and goals for yourself. It’s an important year to take time for yourself and clarify the direction you want to travel. And a perfect time to focus on gratitude for what you have. My new years message talks about this and about the importance of silence in your routine. You can read more about that here in my newsletter. And if you want to read more about the science of silence, you can read about that in my article in Thrive.
Cultivating gratitude is so important as we enter 2017. Psychology Today defines the benefits of gratitude as:
Gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what one has—as opposed to, for example, a consumer-driven emphasis on what one wants. Gratitude is getting a great deal of attention as a facet of positive psychology: Studies show that we can deliberately cultivate gratitude, and can increase our well-being and happiness by doing so. In addition, gratefulness—and especially expression of it to others—is associated with increased energy, optimism, and empathy.
Another good reason to cultivate gratitude is:
“Your experience of life is not based on your life, but what you pay attention to.”
And when you pay attention to what you are grateful for, that becomes your experience. It becomes your experience that life is good and full and wonderful.
I have often quoted Melody Beattie here but it is so appropriate, I have to do it again.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Gratitude is independent of our objective life circumstances
Gratitude is a function of attention
Entitlement precludes gratitude
We often take for granted that which we receive on a regular basis
Gratitude can be cultivated through sincere self-reflection
Expressing gratitude, through words and deeds, enhances our experience of gratitude
Our deepest sense of gratitude comes through grace, with the awareness that we have not earned, nor do we deserve all that we’ve been given.
If you are looking for a way to focus on gratitude as 2017 unfolds, I suggest getting a ‘Gratitude Journal’ – and start by just writing down 3 things you are grateful for every morning before you even get out of bed. And if that feels too hard, then just think of 3 things you are grateful for before you get up. That’s a great start!
If you are feeling more ambitious, I can suggest a wonderful course on Daily Om! It’s a new course I have authored and it’s available here. The course is offered with the option of selecting how much you want to pay. No matter how much you pay, you’ll be getting the same course as everybody else. Daily Om believes that people are honest and will support the course with whatever they can afford. And if you are not 100% satisfied, they will refund your money. So what have you got to lose? It’s a great way to start the year.
I’ll close with a YouTube clip describing the course so you can get a better idea of what it is about.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about how you cultivate gratitude and it’s impact on you. And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.
“Anytime you try to be a loving person, you’re doing your part to save the world.”
― Marianne Williamson
Marianne Williamson has been such an important role model for me and countless others. And at the moment, she is doing a series of live stream videos. Her message is so important. The world feels like it is teetering between light and darkness, and her message is that it is vital to stay in the light – it is up to all of us!
The world is complicated, but Truth is not. As the world has practically exploded in violence this week, the temptation is to spin out emotionally, to try to escape the anxiety so understandable given that the world has gone mad.
But the craziness of the world outside us is no match for the holiness within. There is no real contest between the power of light and the power of darkness. Darkness can obscure the light, but it cannot destroy it. Light, on the other hand, dissolves all darkness. And the light is love. It is God. Each of us, in our own hearts, can now devote our lives in service to the light. And we can do so together, increasing the power of our prayers.
In all of our lives, this new level of service, this deepening of our devotion, will take a different form. Let’s begin by simply loving each other. Let’s take a moment to close our eyes and send love to our friends and family, to pray we might be better at everything we do, that we might be of greater service. Let’s put all our relationships in the hands of God, and ask that in the midst of a world gone mad that He make us very deeply sane. That He make us conduits of His power and vessels of His love, that together with Him we might save our world.
And then let us have faith. God has a plan, though He cannot do for us what He cannot do through us. He needs us to think what He would have us think and do what He would have us do, and love will prevail at last. Today and every day let us expand our hearts just a little bit more, that darkness shall fall away.
And it will. It absolutely will.
Let’s all commit to being conduits of the Light. Let’s all commit to Loving each other. Let’s not worry about what name we call Light – whether it is God, Infinite Wisdome, Divine Light – the name does not matter. Let’s just commit to loving each other.
Our lives depend on it!
I’ll close with an older clip of Williamson’s – well worth watching.
Please share any thoughts about this subject, we all have to work together. And as always thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it.
“One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.”
– Maya Angelou
Giving voice to our courage. Such a wonderful concept. Thank you Dorit Sasson for the oportunity to be on your Blog Talk Radio Show.
What a wild ride I am currently on! It is taking a helluva lot of courage at the moment as I navigate my way toward my publishing date. I am doing new things every day, facing new challenges and learning as I go. This journey is not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure.
It is taking a courage I did not know I had – planning events, marketing myself, learning new things about how to use technology. Phew! Thank goodness for my team behind me, helping me along the way. Thank God for my sons – teaching me about technology and guiding me as I learn. And thank you to people like Dorit that help me to get the word out about my book.
Thank you again to my son Lukas for getting my website set up – This Way Up Book. On that site I will be listing events as they come up and I’ll be posting interviews as they happen.
Thank you to my son Devin for writing some music for me to use on my YouTube Page; and to both Lukas and Devin for helping me get that page set up. Watch this space as it evolves.
It’s all coming together, slowly but surely . . . running as fast as I can to keep up.
It’s a wild ride – but to be honest, I am having a blast!
I’m going to close today in a slightly different way. Instead of a You Tube Clip from someone else, I’m going to close with the Blog Talk Radio Interview with ME! Feels surreal!
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy”
― Marcel Proust
I am so incredibly grateful to my son Lukas! He makes me very happy.
It’s an exciting time. I saw/heard a message when I was meditating 2 days ago:
Envision what you want, do what needs to be done to set it up and step into the life you’ve created.
That’s exactly what it feels like I am doing at the moment. Now that my book is written, I am getting it out there. Lukas has built a beautiful website; I’ve had business cards made with the website and new email address; I’m setting up speaking and book events and I’m stepping into the life I’ve created.
Suffice it to say that at 58 (my birthday was yesterday!), building a brand new website, although not completely impossible for me, would be way way beyond my skill set. As a matter of fact, most of the stuff going on in my life is way outside my comfort zone; I’m on a steep learning curve!
Please take some time and visit the new website; it’s crisp and clean and colorful and creative. It’s called:
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
[Thanksgiving Day Proclamation, 1963]”
― John F. Kennedy
Gratitude for all we have, today and everyday!
And today, the day before Thanksgiving, I have a extra dose of gratitude. My ARCs (Advanced Reading Copies) arrived at my door today. Oh my God – to hold my book in my hand! The experience is unbelievable. I am overwhelmed.
“Be gallant, be great, be gracious and be grateful’
– Jake Bailey
The video attached at the end of this post is amazing – this young man, Jake Bailey, is beyond remarkable. Perhaps it affected me as much as it did because I have two sons about Jake’s age. But I think this will impact everyone who watches it. How can it not?
Jake Baliey was due to graduate and give a speech at graduation. One week before his graduation, 18-year-old Jake Bailey was told he had cancer. He was diagnosed with one of the world’s fastest growing tumours – Burkitt lymphoma.
He had written his speech before his diagnosis and managed to leave his hospital bed to deliver it from a wheelchair. Words made more poignant than he ever could have perceived when he wrote them:
“My challenge to each of you, and to myself, is to continue to grow and to develop for the better . . . Forget about long-term dreams, let’s be passionately dedicated to our short term goals, micro-ambitious. Work with passion and pride on what is in front of us. We don’t know where we might end up . . .”
For those of you not from New Zealand, may not understand the end of this video – it ends in a spontaneous Haka – an incredible sign of respect. Kia Kaha Jake. Thank you for your inspiration.
Thank you for taking the time to watch this and read this post. I appreciate it.
“The attitude that every day is a gift helps to turn the mountains into mole hills that this old boy can climb!
– Doug Haussler
Giving thanks and expressing gratitude is the best way I know to turn mountains into mole hills.
My friend Doug said the attitude that every day is a gift helps to turn the mountains into mole hills that this old boy can climb!
Every day is a gift! But so often we forget to say ‘Thank You!’ Thank you for the day and thank you to each other for things that are done for us. A couple of years ago, Harvard Gazette published an article about The Power of Thanks. The article describes an experiment done at Harvard Business School. The experiment was conducted by Professor Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School and Professor Adam Grant of The Wharton School of Business.
“Receiving expressions of gratitude makes us feel a heightened sense of self-worth, and that in turn triggers other helpful behaviors toward both the person we are helping and other people, too,” Gino said. She described the scope of the “gratitude effect” as “the most surprising part” of her research.”
The work behind her book, she said, “really makes me think more carefully every time I am the one expressing gratitude to others. I don’t want to miss opportunities. … I learned from my own research and now try to say ‘thank you’ much more often.”
So not only keeping an attitude of gratitude, but also expression gratitude makes a difference. So Doug, let me say Thank You to you right now, for your wonderful line about ‘making mountains into mole hills’, but much more importantly, Thank You for being a good friend for all these years.
I’ll close with a lovely short video clip about the power of saying thank you.
Please let me know who you’ve thanked today.
And as always thank you for taking the time to visit, I appreciate it.