The Power of a Pause . . . How a Simple Pause Can Enhance Your Life

“A pause gives you 
breathing space
so listen 
to the whispers
of the real you”
– Tara Estacaan – Poet

Take Time to Pause

I’ve been reading in books and hearing on podcasts and TED Talks that simply by pausing at certain times, we can improve our life.

Honestly though? Can taking time to pause actually enhance my life? Can it make me happier, improve my relationships, and even re-wire my brain?

Some pretty big claims for just stopping whatever I’m doing and breathing for a few seconds!

So I did a bit of research and I discovered three different significant times to pause:

  • In the morning and throughout the day to be intentional
  • During stress and/or conflict
  • At positive moments, to savour the good

The Pause for Intention:

Our intention creates our reality. 
– Wayne Dyer

Every intention is a trigger for Transformation
– Deepak Chopra

Several books I’ve read recently encourage us to live more intentionally; that our intentions can bring transformation; that pausing to be intentional can be transformational.

I always thought of goals and intentions as more or less the same thing. But is setting a goal for the day, the same as setting an intention? What is the difference between goals and intentions?

I’ve discovered that for me, goals feel like I’m pushing toward an external thing, a driving force, like something I push to make happen. Whereas intentions feel more internal, like a spark from within that moves me.

As I explored in a blog post not long ago, when I go through each day – not with a list of goals that have to be ticked off, but with intentions for the day, it makes for a much happier and less stressful day.

Pause for Intention in the Morning

David Emerald, author of TED — The Empowerment Dynamic, beautifully describes the differences between goals and intentions:

  • Goals are focused on the future. Intentions are in the present moment.
  • Goals are a destination or specific achievement. Intentions are lived each day, independent of reaching the goal or destination.
  • Goals are external achievements. Intentions are your inner-relationships with yourself and others.

Wayne Dyer describes intentions like this:

“Intention is not something you do, but rather a force that exists in the universe as an invisible field of energy- a power that can carry us. It’s the difference between motivation and inspiration. Motivation is when you get hold of an idea and don’t let go of it until you make it a reality. Inspiration is the reverse- when an idea gets hold of you and you feel compelled to let that impulse or energy carry you along.”

Deepak Chopra explains that:

“Intention is the starting point of every dream.The sages of India observed thousands of years ago that our destiny is ultimately shaped by our deepest intentions and desires. The classic Vedic text known as the Upanishads declares, ‘You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.’  An intention is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the seed form of that which you aim to create.”

So by pausing each morning, and indeed throughout the day, to listen to that inspiration, focus on the intention, that impulse of consciousness, I am honouring that trigger for transformation.

The Mindful Pause:

“Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.” 
– Lori Deschene

Listening to a podcast recently, Tara Brach encouraged us to pause when we are feeling stressed or in conflict.  Brach explains that one of the main keys that mindfulness offers us in times of conflict and stress is time to pause to help us move from reaction, knee jerk response to conflict that occurs in the amygdala (the most primitive part of the brain; when we are operating from the amygdala, we react quickly with fight, flight or freeze), and shift the process to the prefrontal cortex.

Pause in Conflict

Brach explains:

“When we feel threatened, part of our evolutionary design is to go into fight, flight or freeze.  None of which serve so well when it comes to good communication.  Neuroscience research confirms that mindfulness practice improves the brain’s ability to process under stress.  It trains us to shift our response away from our primitive, survival reaction, to access more recently developed parts of the brain, in particular, the prefrontal cortex with it’s capacity for reasoning, flexibility and empathy. “

So when stressed or in conflict, pausing can help us move away from getting triggered and catapulting us into reactivity, and toward choosing a more measured response, choosing reason and empathy.

The Pause to Savor:

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.”
– Albert Einstein

Pause to Savor

In a TED talk I watched recently, Rick Hanson suggested that we pause to savor the good moments in order to offset our negativity bias. Our brains have a built-in negativity bias’ that has evolved over millions of years; it was a lot more important to notice, react to, and remember the dangers than it was to savor the good. That’s because — in the tough environments in which our ancestors lived — if they missed out on a carrot, they usually had a shot at another one later on. But if they failed to avoid a stick — a predator, a natural hazard, or aggression from others of their species  then there was no more chances to pass on their genes.

Hanson explained that the negativity bias shows up in lots of ways:

  • In a relationship, it typically takes five good interactions to make up for a single bad one.
  • People will work much harder to avoid losing $100 than they will work to gain the same amount of money.
  • Painful experiences are much more memorable than pleasurable ones.

In effect, our brains are like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. This impacts our implicit memory— our underlying expectations, beliefs, action strategies, and mood — in an increasingly negative direction.

Research shows that it only takes about 30 seconds to install the good, to let it become part of our implicit memory.

Hanson has three suggestions about how to take in the good and make it stick:

    1. Look for good facts, and turn them into good experiences.

Good facts include positive events – like the taste of good coffee or getting an unexpected compliment – and positive aspects of the world and yourself. When you notice something good, let yourself feel good about it.

Try to do this at least a half dozen times a day. Each time takes just 30 seconds or so. It’s private; no one needs to know you are taking in the good. You can do it on the fly in daily life, or at special times of reflection, like just before falling asleep (when the brain is especially receptive to new learning).

2.  Really enjoy the experience.

Most of the time, a good experience is pretty mild, and that’s fine. But try to stay with it for 20 or 30 seconds in a row – instead of getting distracted by something else. As you can, sense that it is filling your body, becoming a rich experience. As Marc Lewis and other researchers have shown, the longer that something is held in awareness and the more emotionally stimulating it is, the more neurons that fire and thus wire together, and the stronger the trace in memory.

3.  Intend and sense that the good experience is sinking into you.

People do this in different ways. Some feel it in their body like a warm glow spreading through their chest like the warmth of a cup of hot cocoa on a cold wintry day. Others visualize things like a golden syrup sinking down inside, bringing good feelings and soothing old places of hurt.

So when we have an experience and we feel good because of that experience, take time to feel good; pause and let it sink in.

So honestly, yes, a simple pause really does have incredible power. Choosing to pause before jumping out of bed to set a simple intention for the day; choosing to pause when I’m triggered from anger or stress, to refrain from reacting from my primitive part of my brain and instead choosing a more measured and empathetic response; and choosing to pause throughout the day to savour the good really will enhance my life.  Taking the time to pause absolutely can enhance my life.

I’ll close with a great talk by Rick Hanson from about a year ago at The Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education

I’d love to hear if you pause during your day to set an intention or avoid conflict or to savor the moment.

And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit.  I appreciate it.

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What does it really mean to follow your heart? – January 2019 Newsletter

“I believe we’re all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose … When you connect with that purpose, and move forward with love and compassion, that’s when everything unfolds.”

― Ellen DeGeneres

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For those of you who missed my January Newsletter and want to have a read  . . .

Thinking about what it means to follow your heart . . .

I don’t know about you, but my email was bombarded with suggestions about how to gain clarity this year and what to do to “unclutter” and find peace. So as I thought about this newsletter to start the year, what became clear for me was that I did not want to write about how to unclutter or which new app I could buy to find peace, but instead I wanted to hone in on my purpose for this year.  That sounds grandiose and overwhelming as I write it, but with so much “stuff” out there, so much information and so many paths that I could take, I need to narrow my focus and check in with what really resonates for me.

Buddha has been quoted as saying:
Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.

And this has been adapted and misquoted as:
Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.

I don’t think there would be many people who disagree that finding one’s purpose is essential in one’s life. And I think finding purpose in my mid to later life is much different than when I was younger.  In youth, there was a sense of spaciousness, a sense that I could trial different pathways and see what I liked, what made me feel alive.  These days, there is much less time to waste.  I’m 61 and feel a bit more urgency (still young enough … but don’t want to waste the time I do have). As Bonnie Raitt so succinctly puts it:
Life gets mighty precious
When there’s less of it to waste

It’s not just that having a sense of purpose adds to one’s well being, although research shows that that is true. It’s more than that.  Having a sense of purpose improves healthfulfilment, and can even help you live longer.  In a nutshell, finding your sense of purpose has the potential to change everything!

How do we even start? Is there a signpost or light to follow?

Here is one interesting take on Purpose and how to find it.

The founders of ConsciousED’s best advice is to follow your heart:
The best advice I’ve ever gotten in my life is to follow my heart. I think of it like, there’s a guiding compass inside of me that always knows which direction to go. An inner voice that knows what’s right. I just need to tune into it and trust it.

I agree, that is great advice . . . but how exactly do we do that? Research suggests three key elements:

  1. Read
  2. Serve
  3. Cultivate Awe and Gratitude


If you want to read more about these suggestions and how to implement them, you can read more about it in my recent article on Thrive Global – Choosing to be the mountain, not the grain of sand.  And if you want to watch a powerful interview between Oprah and Eckhart Tolle about purpose, check out my recent Blog Post.

This Way Up Online Interactive Live Workshops

In 2018, I ran two This Way Up Interactive Live Workshops. Both were powerful experiences for me and, according to the participants, quite transformational. This year, I’ll be running the first six-week series starting in April. The dates will be:

For those of you in the US:
Six Tuesdays – April 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 and May 7
at 5pm PST; 6pm MT; 7pm CT and 8pm EST

For those of you in NZ and Australia:
Six Wednesdays – April 3, 10, 17, 24, and May 1 and 8
at 1pm NZ time; 11am Australian time

If you are interested in learning more about these online workshops or signing up for the April series, you can sign up here!

Sign Up for the Next Workshop!

The Bali Retreat is On!


Exciting news: we are now planning our Bali Retreat for July 2019!

This year we are staying in an incredible luxury boutique villa right on the beach in beautiful Sanur. We’ll be there for nine glorious nights, arriving on Thursday 4th July and leaving on Saturday 13th July.

As spaces are limited, I wanted you to be the first to know in case you’re feeling the pull to join us. You can check out the venue online.

To learn more, check out the Rejuvenate Spa Retreat Page. If you have a question or want to register interest, contact me. Spaces are limited.

You’re Invited: Capitalize on Your Creativity

Launching February 4

I’m thrilled to let you know that I will be appearing as a guest speaker on Jamie Greenberg’s online symposium, “Capitalize On Your Creativity,” set to launch on Monday, February 4.

This summit is being offered by the amazing Jamie Greenberg. Jamie is the Chief Originologist and founder of A Brand YOU Way, a company that helps entrepreneurs and thought leaders harness their intellectual property and “capitalize on their creativity.”

This symposium is for:

  • Anyone who has a big idea and wants to turn it into a business
  • Anyone who is ready for creative tools and strategies to take their business to the next level
  • Anyone who is transitioning from a corporate to an entrepreneurial lifestyle
  • Anyone who is a coach, speaker or expert who wants to become a recognized thought leader in their industry
  • Anyone who wants to turn “creative constipation” into “creative inspiration”
  • Anyone who is ready to use their creative inspirations to step into a bigger and more visible version of themselves both professionally and personally

For more information and to sign up for this symposium, visit Jamie’s page.

You’re Invited: Path to Purpose Project

Launching February 12

Devorah knows the world is transformed by the power of our stories. Devorah and I believe that now more than ever, we need to hear and share stories of healing and transformation.

Devorah has been a storyteller for over 40 years, and as an intuitive coach for women, she is passionate about transforming ourselves and our world through the power of our stories.

This will be a high value interview training series where women walk away with clarity on their story and purpose as well the vital inner and outer skills to transform their lives and make a difference in the world.

Check out Devorah’s page for more information and to sign up for this powerful series.

Buy the Book!

“Author Patti Clark is a cross between Elizabeth Gilbert and Julia Cameron.”

This Way Up is a story of healing for women who yearn to lead a fuller life, accompanied by a workbook to help readers work through personal challenges, discover new inspiration, and harness their creative power. . .

This Way Up provides a step-by-step way out of a sense of loss and into a life filled with enthusiasm, creativity, and joy.

Buy Online

Parting Words

“The purpose of life is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” 
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you for being part of this movement. I hope that 2019 is unfolding purposefully for you.

Self Love During Difficult Times

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. And we need to learn to love ourselves first.”
― John Lennon

_________________________________________________________________________________

This post was from 2017 – but it was so relevant that I decided to repost it . . .

Self-Love. Why do so many of us find that concept so difficult?  One of the most common things that I hear from women in workshops is that they think the worst of themselves and usually have difficulty prioritizing themselves.

Why is it that some people, the Donald Trumps of the world, seem to believe only the best about themselves, while others—perhaps especially women —seize on the most self-critical thoughts they can come up with? “It turns out there’s an area of your brain that’s assigned the task of negative thinking,” says Louann Brizendine, MD, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, and the author of The Female Brain. “It’s judgmental. It says ‘I’m too fat’ or ‘I’m too old.’ It’s a barometer of every social interaction you have. It goes on red alert when the feedback you’re getting from other people isn’t going well.” This worrywart part of the brain is the anterior cingulate cortex. In women, it’s actually larger and more influential, as is the brain circuitry for observing emotions in others. “The reason we think females have more emotional sensitivity,” says Brizendine, “is that we’ve been built to be immediately responsive to the needs of a nonverbal infant. That can be both a good thing and a bad thing.”

Interesting that this article was from the August 2008 O Magazine. The comparison to the Donald Trumps of the world is more apt than ever! (Although I would like to point out that there is a huge distinction between narcissism and self-love!) And in these dark and difficult times, when there is a constant reminder of how much is at stake, fear is rampant. So self-love is more important than ever.  We need love to conquer the fear that many of us are feeling in response to the political insanity that has gripped the world at the moment.

In an article that I recently published in Thrive Global, I wrote about just this phenomenon – Why Self-Love is So Important During Difficult Times. In this article I quote an important point by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:

There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.”

So if we want to stay in a place of love instead of a place of fear, we have to learn to love ourselves first. We cannot pour from an empty cup, we must be filled up. And one way to fill your cup is to prioritize yourself, pamper yourself!

 

 

So if you have the time and the inclination, may I suggest a lovely retreat to Bali! Rejuvenate Spa Retreats is offering a stunning 9 day retreat in

Bali! You can read all about it here. This is the Third annual Bali Retreat my business partner Deb and I have run.  It is a phenomenal way to refresh and rejuvenate yourself. And a wonderful way to show yourself the self-love your deserve!

I’ll close with a short sweet video of Oprah Winfrey as she talks about self-love and taking care of yourself.

 

 

I’d love to hear how you take care of yourself and practice self-love.  And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit.  I appreciate it. And please let me know if you want more information about our retreat to Bali in July!

 

Facing 2019 with a Sense of Purpose

“I believe we’re all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose… When you connect with that purpose, and move forward with love and compassion, that’s when everything unfolds.“
― Ellen DeGeneres
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This year I choose to be the mountain, not the grain of sand!

I don’t know about you, but with the new year, my email was bombarded with suggestions about how to gain clarity this year and what to do to ‘unclutter’ and find peace. So as I meditated on what I want to focus on for 2019, what became clear for me was that it wasn’t how to unclutter or which new app I could buy to find peace, but instead I wanted to hone in on my purpose for this year. That sounds grandiose and overwhelming as I write it, but with so much ‘stuff’ out there, so much info and paths that I could take, I need to narrow my focus and check in with what really resonates for me.

Buddha has been quoted as saying:

Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.

And this has been adapted and misquoted as:

Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.

I don’t think there would be many people who disagree that finding one’s purpose is essential in one’s life. And I think finding purpose in my mid to later life is much different than when I was younger. In youth, there was a sense of spaciousness, a sense that I could trial different pathways and see what I liked, what made me feel alive. These days, there is much less time to waste. I’m 61 (still young enough… but don’t want to waste the time I do have) and I feel more of a sense of urgency. As Bonnie Raitt so succinctly puts it:

Life gets mighty precious
When there’s less of it to waste

It’s not just that having a sense of purpose adds to one’s well being, although research shows that that is true. It’s more than that. Having a sense of purpose improves health, fulfilment, and can even help you live longer. In a nutshell, finding your sense of purpose has the potential to change everything!
So Ok, we can all agree, it’s an important mission. But it’s huge! How do we even start? Is there a signpost or light to follow?

Here is one interesting take on Purpose and how to find it. The founders of ConsciousED’s best advice is to ‘Follow Your Heart’:

The best advice I’ve ever gotten in my life is to follow my heart. I think of it like, there’s a guiding compass inside of me that always knows which direction to go. An inner voice that knows what’s right. I just need to tune into it and trust it.

I agree, that is great advice . . . but how exactly do we do that? I researched this and came across a lot of articles so tried to synthesise the info into the top 3 suggestions:

READ – The most common suggestion that came through is to read. Read as much as you can about as many things that interest you as you can. Read books by people that you admire, read about things that you are curious about. Books are so readily available; choose reading over digital distraction.

SERVE – So many studies suggest that service to others is one of the best ways to find a sense of purpose. Helping others is associated with a meaningful, purposeful life. In one study, Daryl Van Tongeren et al found that people, who volunteer and/or donate money, tend to have a greater sense of purpose in their lives. Professor Anne Colby has researched and written about purpose and well being for many years. And she has found that one’s well being increases when one is purposeful beyond oneself.
There is significantly higher well being in people who were involved in pursuing beyond-the-self goals, compared to those who were pursuing other types of goals. In other words, engaging in prosocial goals had more impact on well being than engaging in non-prosocial goals.

CULTIVATE awe and gratitude. The research is clear, cultivating awe, and gratitude absolutely connects us to our sense of purpose. Several studies conducted by the Greater Good Science Center’s Dacher Keltner have shown that the experience of awe makes us feel connected to something larger than ourselves—and so can provide the emotional foundation for a sense of purpose. And research on gratitude consistently shows a correlation between feeling grateful and well-being and a stronger sense of purpose.
But it’s important that we don’t just plan and think about it, but to focus and take action!

“The dynamic process of aligning yourself with your life purpose requires energy and willpower: wind in your sails to move you forward, and a strong rudder to prevent being blown off course.”

I believe as Og Mandino puts it:

I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand.

So taking action . . . I decided that 2019 is my year to start and to focus on my next book. The idea scares me; I know how much energy the process of writing takes, and even more, the energy and work that is required getting the book out there. It is daunting, but I know it is a huge part of my purpose – to write and connect with others. And so I am committed to grow into that mountain, not shrink to a grain of sand, so I shall commit to this focus for this year.

I am curious, how shall you move toward your sense of purpose this year? What are you doing to grow into the mountain you are meant to be?

I’ll close with a powerful interview between Oprah and Eckhart Tolle – Life Purpose

I’d love to hear about your purpose for 2019. I really am curious – What are you doing to grow into the mountain you are meant to be?
And as always, thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it.

The Path to Well-Being . . . Yes you can get there from here!

“The ultimate end of all revolutionary social change is to establish the sanctity of human life, the dignity of man, the right of every human being to liberty and well-being.”
– Emma Goldman
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What do you want? No honestly, what do you really truly want in your one wild and precious life? to mis-quote Mary Oliver. Most studies show that happiness and well-being are at the top of this list. But that is often immediately followed by but I don’t know what to do to get there. The good news is that there is a path to well-being, and you can start travelling this path today.

 

Well-being is actually a skill that can be learned and practiced and improved. Well-being can be achieved by focusing on four main keys. One of my heroes that I’ve written about is Dr. Richard Davidson. Dr. Davidson is the founder of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, and he has studied and discovered the four science-based keys to well-being.

Davidson explains that well-being is a skill and it boils down to four main attributes:

Resilience, Outlook, Attention and Generosity.

From his research, he and his colleagues have learned that:

Each of these four is rooted in neural circuits, and each of these neural circuits exhibits plasticity—so we know that if we exercise these circuits, they will strengthen. Practicing these four skills can provide the substrate for enduring change, which can help to promote higher levels of well-being in our lives.

1. Resilience

Yes it’s true ‘Shit Happens.’ It happens to all of us and we can’t always stop it or avoid it, but we can change the way we react to it. Davidson explains that:

Resilience is the rapidity with which we recover from adversity; some people recover slowly and other people recover more quickly. We know that individuals who show a more rapid recovery in certain key neural circuits have higher levels of well-being. They are protected in many ways from the adverse consequences of life’s slings and arrows.

Recent research that Davidson conducted at UW Madison asked whether resilience could be improved and if so, how. The good news is that answer is yes; resilience can be improved by regular practice of mindfulness meditation. … The bad news is that it takes thousands of hours of practice before you see real change. But hey, it can be done.

2. Outlook

The second key to well-being is one’s outlook on life. Davidson explains:

Outlook refers to the ability to see the positive in others, the ability to savor positive experiences, the ability to see another human being as a human being who has innate basic goodness.

The good news regarding outlook is that unlike resilience, research indicates that simple practices of lovingkindness and / or compassion meditation may alter this circuitry quite quickly.
There was a study done in 2013 where individuals who had never meditated before were randomly assigned to one of two groups.

One group received a secular form of compassion training and the other received cognitive reappraisal training, an emotion-regulation strategy that comes from cognitive therapy. We scanned people’s brains before and after two weeks of training, and we found that in the compassion group, brain circuits that are important for this positive outlook were strengthened. After just seven hours—30 minutes of practice a day for two weeks—we not only saw changes in the brain, but these changes also predicted kind and helpful behavior.

3. Attention

The third key to well-being is paying attention. Research has shown that most people do not pay close attention to what they’re doing about forty-seven percent of the time. The quality of attention that you pay to what you are doing is vital.

William James in The Principals of Psychology explains that:

The ability to voluntarily bring back a wandering attention over and over again is the very root of judgment, character, and will. An education that sharpens attention would be education par excellence.

Davidson explains that educating attention can be done through a contemplative practice.

4. Generosity

It is well known now that when individuals engage in generous and altruistic behavior, they actually activate circuits in the brain that are key to fostering well-being. Davidson believes that:

Human beings come into the world with innate, basic goodness. When we engage in practices that are designed to cultivate kindness and compassion, we’re not actually creating something de novo—we’re not actually creating something that didn’t already exist. What we’re doing is recognizing, strengthening, and nurturing a quality that was there from the outset.

In addition to the four keys that Davidson outlines, science has also shown that gratitude hugely increases our feelings of well-being. Gratitude allows us to celebrate the present. It magnifies positive emotions. With gratitude, we become greater participants in our lives as opposed to spectators. You can become more responsible for creating more well-being in your life by the simple act of being grateful for what you are experiencing in this present moment.

By practicing gratitude and focusing on these four keys, Davidson assures us that:

Our brains are constantly being shaped wittingly or unwittingly—most of the time unwittingly. Through the intentional shaping of our minds, we can shape our brains in ways that would enable these four fundamental constituents of well-being to be strengthened. In that way, we can take responsibility for our own minds.

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, no one explains it better than Dr. Richie Davidson himself!

I’d love to know if you have found that a meditation practice impacts your well-being.
And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.

This Way Up Six Week Online Live Interactive Workshop!

““Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
— George Bernard Shaw
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There are still a few spaces left for the This Way Up Six Week Online Live Interactive Workshop.
The six-week series begins on Tuesday 23 October at 5pm PDT and runs for six weeks:
Tuesday 23 October – Tuesday 27 November.

Here is some info about the workshop:

The workshop is completely free. There is no set fee at all. At the end of the six weeks, if you decide you want to donate something, you are welcome, but there is no expectation.
Each workshop is live, and videoed. If you miss a day in the series, you can go to our private You Tube page and watch what you’ve missed and do the day’s visualization. There is time for questions and discussions during each workshop. The shared community of women from around the world is wonderful!

This video will answer some questions for you, and if you have any other question, you can contact me at
patti@thiswayupbook.com

I hope to see you there!

October Newsletter and Events

“Altruism raises your mood because it raises your self-esteem, which increases happiness. Plus, giving to others gets you outside of yourself and distracts you from your problems.”
~ Karen Salmansohn
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In case you missed it, here’s a copy of This Way Up’s October Newsletter and Upcoming Events.

Welcome to This Way Up!

Thank you for being part of this community! Keep reading for more information about why altruism is really good for you; news about the upcoming This Way Up Online Interactive Workshop starting this month; and information about two exciting upcoming events that you’re invited to join. You can always find me at ThisWayUpBook.com.

Altruism … Why It’s So Good to Do Good

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

It’s true that we are hard-wired toward negativity, that we have a “built-in negativity bias.” Rick Hanson explains that as we evolved over millions of years, dodging sticks and chasing carrots, it was a lot more important to notice, react to, and remember sticks than it was to do the same for carrots. That’s because — in the tough environments in which our ancestors lived — if they missed out on a carrot, they usually had a shot at another one later on. But if they failed to avoid a stick — a predator, a natural hazard, or aggression from others of their species — then there may have been no more chances to pass on their genes.

However, studies have also shown that we are hard-wired for empathy and altruism as well. This is because cooperative behaviour worked in our favor and helped our ancestors to survive under harsh conditions. So we reap psychological and physiological benefits when we practice altruism, when we do good things for others. In other words, doing good is good for you.

What exactly is altruism? It is defined as, a voluntary, sometimes costly behaviour motivated by the desire to help another individual; a selfless act intended to benefit only the other.

So why would we do something that is of no benefit to ourselves?

I examined this phenomenon in my recent article in Thrive.

To learn more about the benefits of altruism and watch a great TED Talk on the subject, check out my latest blog post.

This Way Up Online Interactive Live Workshops!

The next This Way Up Interactive Live Workshop is starting this month.
The six-week series begins on Tuesday 23 October at 5pm PDT and runs for six weeks: Tuesday 23 October – Tuesday 27 November.

Check out this video to learn more about the workshop.

During the last workshop in May, there were ten women from 4 different countries taking part and it was amazing, exhilarating and uplifting! We explored many of the topics I write about in my book. But with the unity of sharing our common experience, it was so much richer than doing it alone.

Here’s what a few of the women said about the workshop:

“I really liked getting to know all the lovely ladies and the fact that we were all over the globe! And finding that other women have the same doubts and concerns about themselves that I do. It was fabulous! Keep me posted on next workshop, I want to share this.”
– Kathleen

“Thank you so much for the course. I really enjoyed it, as well as getting to know you and the group.”
– Shellan

“I enjoyed it all, but I think I enjoyed the interactive format the most. It was nice to feel the support and genuine caring from both you and the other participants. It was a very safe and supportive environment. It was very helpful to be guided through the visualizations directly, by someone I had built trust in. It was also helpful to hear the other participants’ experiences. It gave me hope, that doing the hard work and learning the tools will be worth it. I also enjoyed that we received helpful links after the session which enabled me to dive deeper into areas I wanted to work on. Your help was invaluable.”
– Stacy

If you want more information about the workshops, or you are interested in signing up for the next series of workshops, you can sign up here!

Sign Up for the Next Workshop!

Upcoming Summits

You’re invited to this wonderful series:

Finding Yourself Master Class Series with the uplifting Clarissa Findlay

This event is now live!

It’s a crazy, busy world out there, where we often find ourselves trying to perform and change ourselves to gain acceptance and belonging. Sometimes we can get so caught up with keeping in step that we don’t remember to seek out our own stride, and embrace our own self-worth. It’s time to think about what you really want with your one beautiful life!

I’m excited to share an event that may just change the way you think about this powerful and exciting journey we are all on. The Finding Yourself Masterclass Series is a free, online interview series with leading lifestyle, wellness, and mind-set experts who want to help you expand your capacity to love yourself, own your story, and walk your own true path. I’m so pleased to be among this incredible line-up of psychologists, authors, coaches, mind-body experts, and much more.

From unearthing the neuroscience behind our feelings of self-worth to building an action plan that will help eliminate self-doubt and build confidence in your true identity and purpose, the Finding Yourself Masterclass is a necessary tool for everyone!

You can sign up for this transformative Master Class here.

You are also invited to this fabulous summit:

The Unstoppable Artist Formula:
How to Claim Your Full Power as an Artist, Make Great Money, and Attract Your Perfect Audience
Hosted by the Incomparable Nikól Peterman

The Unstoppable Artist Formula launches October 29 and will run through November 8.

Are you struggling to get clarity about your work and/or attention for the work you are doing?

My friend Nikól Peterman, Artist Success Coach and owner of the artist development company ZenRedNYC, has gathered more than 25 of the best mentors to give you the top industry secrets for free. Due to her 20 years as a working professional artist, she definitely understands where you are now and shares my mission to empower you.

I’m excited to be part of this event because it’s not just talk … Every training will give you the most cutting edge tools and strategies, proven to work, which you can implement right away.

At this event you’ll learn:
How to stand out from the crowd
How to attract a large audience
How to feel amazing and confident in front of your raving fans and eagerly paying customers
How to increase your income as an artist and finally get paid what you deserve
How to quiet the inner critic keeping you stuck
And a lot more!

By the end of this event, you’ll no longer question how to end your low sales and low following. You will know what to do to be an Unstoppable Artist.

So, grab your free front row seat to this online event here!

The Unstoppable Artist Formula launches Oct 29 and will run through Nov. 8th.

It’s Here! This Way Up Is Now Available as an Audio Book!

This Way Up audiobook is now available for purchase! You can find it on Audible and Amazon and on iTunes. You can hear all about it here, along with a special invitation to get it for free!

Please let me know your thoughts if you listen to it. I’d love to hear from you.
Buy the Book!

“Author Patti Clark is a cross between Elizabeth Gilbert and Julia Cameron.”

This Way Up is a story of healing for women who yearn to lead a fuller life, accompanied by a workbook to help readers work through personal challenges, discover new inspiration, and harness their creative power. . .

Women spend so much of life nurturing and giving to others that when they find themselves alone—because of an empty nest, the end of a marriage, or the death of a partner—they often struggle with feeling purposeless. This Way Up provides a step-by-step way out of this sense of loss and into a life filled with enthusiasm, creativity, and joy.
Buy Online

Altruism – Why it’s so good to do good

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr
____________________________________________________________________________

It’s true that we are hard-wired toward negativity, that we have a ‘built-in negativity bias.’ Rick Hanson explains that as we evolved over millions of years, dodging sticks and chasing carrots, it was a lot more important to notice, react to, and remember sticks than it was for carrots. That’s because — in the tough environments in which our ancestors lived — if they missed out on a carrot, they usually had a shot at another one later on. But if they failed to avoid a stick — a predator, a natural hazard, or aggression from others of their species — then there may be no more chances to pass on their genes.

However, studies have also shown that we are hard-wired for empathy and altruism as well. This is because cooperative behaviour worked on our behalf and helped our ancestors to survive under harsh conditions. So we reap psychological and physiological benefits when we practice altruism, when we do good things for others. In other words, doing good is good for you.

First of all, what exactly is altruism? It is defined as:

A voluntary, sometimes costly behaviour motivated by the desire to help another individual; a selfless act intended to benefit only the other.

So why would we do something that is of no benefit to ourselves?

Karen Salmansohn explains it like this:

Altruism raises your mood because it raises your self-esteem, which increases happiness. Plus, giving to others gets you outside of yourself and distracts you from your problems.

Here are a few good reasons to practice altruism:

It promotes positive physiological changes in the brain associated with happiness

Giving to and helping other people releases endorphins, which then activate parts of our brain that are associated with trust, pleasure and social connection. This chemical reaction in the brain increases the chance that we will be altruistic and do good deeds in the future, thus creating a positive feedback loop of generosity and happiness.

It brings a sense of belonging and reduces isolation

Being a part of a positive charitable social network leads to feelings of belonging and lessens isolation.

It helps to keep things in perspective

Helping others, especially those who are less fortunate, can provide a sense of perspective, enabling us to stop focusing on what we may feel is missing in our own life.

It reduces stress and improves our health

Evidence suggests that helping others can boost our health. Compassion has been shown to help stabilise the immune system against immunosuppressing effects of stress. Altruistic acts may also stimulate the brain to release endorphins, which are powerful natural painkillers. One study found that participating in charitable activities can be better for our health than lowering cholesterol or stopping smoking

It helps reduce negative feelings

People who are altruistic tend to see life as more meaningful. Altruism is associated with better marital relationships, increased physical health, and enhanced self-esteem. Acts of altruism decrease feelings of hopelessness and decrease depression. It may also neutralise negative emotions that affect immune, endocrine and cardiovascular function.

It may actually help us live longer

Helping others has actually been shown to increase our life span. Studies on older people show that those who give support to others live longer than those who don’t.

Quite simply, altruism feels good and is good for you. When you help others, it promotes positive physiological changes in the brain associated with happiness. So although it is true that we are hard-wired to notice the negative, we are also hard-wired toward compassion and altruism. So the next time you have a choice between acting from fear or acting from caring and compassion, choose the latter, it’s better for you in every way.

I’ll close with a wonderful TED Talk by Abigail Marsh entitled: Why Some People Are More Altruistic Than Others.

I’d love to hear about how you practice Altruism.
And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.

Surviving in the Age of Technical Overwhelm

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”
– Desmond Tutu
____________________________________________________________________________

For those of you who missed my September Newsletter …

If you are not signed up to received my newsletter and are interested in being on my mailing list, just message me below, or email me at patti@thiswayupbook.com

Please keep reading to find out how to sign up for 2 really exciting upcoming online summits.

If you are interested in learning more about the next This Way Up Online Workshop, watch the video below. Or if you are ready to sign up, you can click here. I’d love to see you there!

Welcome to This Way Up!

Thank you for being part of this community! Keep reading for more information about dealing with A Crisis of the Heart and finding well-being; news about the upcoming This Way Up Online Interactive Workshop starting in October; and info about two upcoming events that you are invited to attend. You can always find me at ThisWayUpBook.com.

Dealing with A Crisis of the Heart and Finding Well-Being
Surviving in the age of technical overwhelm

“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love.”
~ Dorothy Day

There is a crisis of the heart impacting us at the moment. It’s showing up as depression, anxiety, and attention disorders. These are also symptomatic of a cognition crisis. Adam Gazzaley, PhD explains it as “a crisis at the core of what makes us human: the dynamic interplay between our brain and our environment—the ever-present cycle between how we perceive our surroundings, integrate this information, and act upon it.”

I explored this crisis in my recent article on Thrive Global.

The cause of this crisis is linked to the fact that we just cannot keep up with the rapid rise of technology and it is impacting our brains and our well-being. As Gazzaley put it: “Our brains simply have not kept pace with the dramatic and rapid changes in our environment—specifically the introduction and ubiquity of information technology.”

Some researchers explain that “the increasing complexity, speed, and multitasking of our modern environment has overtaken our capacities, and we live disconnected from our own self and from one another.” This disconnect from our self and from one another is perpetuating the crisis, and the crisis is spiralling out of control.

I discuss how Jack Kornfield describes reengaging the heart. There is hope! If you’re interested in reading more about this and watching Kornfield discuss wisdom, compassion and courage in uncertain times, visit patticlark.com.

It’s Here! This Way Up Is Now Available as an Audio Book!

This Way Up audiobook is now available for purchase! You can find it on Audible and Amazon and on iTunes. You can hear all about it here, along with a special invitation to get it for free!

Please let me know your thoughts if you listen to it. I’d love to hear from you.

This Way Up Online Interactive Live Workshops!

In May, I hosted the first This Way Up Interactive Live Workshop. There were ten women from four different countries taking part and it was amazing – exhilarating and uplifting! We explored many of the topics I write about in my book. But with the unity of sharing our common experience, it was so much richer than doing it alone.

Here’s what a few of the women said about the workshop:

“I really liked getting to know all the lovely ladies and the fact that we were all over the globe! And finding that other women have the same doubts and concerns about themselves that I do. It was fabulous! Keep me posted on next workshop, I want to share this.”
– Kathleen

“Thank you so much for the course. I really enjoyed it, as well as getting to know you and the group.”
– Shellan

“I enjoyed it all, but I think I enjoyed the interactive format the most. It was nice to feel the support and genuine caring from both you and the other participants. It was a very safe and supportive environment. It was very helpful to be guided through the visualizations directly, by someone I had built trust in. It was also helpful to hear the other participants’ experiences. It gave me hope, that doing the hard work and learning the tools will be worth it. I also enjoyed that we received helpful links after the session which enabled me to dive deeper into areas I wanted to work on. Your help was invaluable.”
– Stacy

Check out the video below to learn more about the workshop.

The next six-week series begins on Tuesday, 23 October at 5 p.m. PDT. The workshop series runs for six weeks: Tuesday, 23 Oct – Tuesday, 27 November.

Here is some information about the workshops:

If you want more information about the workshops, or you are interested in signing up for the next series of workshops, you can sign up here!

Upcoming Summits

You’re invited to this wonderful series:
Finding Yourself Master Class Series with the uplifting Clarissa Findlay
This event will launch on October 9.

You can sign up for this transformative Master Class here.

You are also invited to this fabulous summit:
The Unstoppable Artist Formula:
How to Claim Your Full Power as an Artist, Make Great Money, and Attract Your Perfect Audience
Hosted by the Incomparable Nikol Peterman

The Unstoppable Artist Formula launches October 29 and will run through November 8.

You can learn more about Nikol and the online event here.

Buy the Book!

“Author Patti Clark is a cross between Elizabeth Gilbert and Julia Cameron.”

This Way Up is a story of healing for women who yearn to lead a fuller life, accompanied by a workbook to help readers work through personal challenges, discover new inspiration, and harness their creative power. . .

Women spend so much of life nurturing and giving to others that when they find themselves alone—because of an empty nest, the end of a marriage, or the death of a partner—they often struggle with feeling purposeless. This Way Up provides a step-by-step way out of this sense of loss and into a life filled with enthusiasm, creativity, and joy.
Buy Online

Parting Words
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”
~ Helen Keller

Thank you for being part of this movement. Watch this space for more in the months ahead.

Dealing with A Crisis of the Heart and Finding Well-Being

“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love.”
– Dorothy Day

____________________________________________________________________________

What can we do when loneliness, anxiety and depression take hold. We can hold on to hope.
I explored the Crisis of the Heart that is overtaking so many of us in my latest article on Thrive Global.

There is a crisis of the heart impacting us at the moment. It’s showing up as depression, anxiety, and attention disorders. These are also symptomatic of a cognition crisis. Adam Gazzaley, PhD explains it as:

“A crisis at the core of what makes us human: the dynamic interplay between our brain and our environment — the ever-present cycle between how we perceive our surroundings, integrate this information, and act upon it..”

The numbers of people suffering are staggering. In the United States, depression affects 16.2 million adults, and anxiety about 18.7 million. In New Zealand, it is estimated that one in five women suffers from depression, and about one in 10 men; with about one in six people suffering from anxiety.

Gazzaley describes a sharp increase in the number of teens impacted. American teens have experienced a 33% increase in depressive symptoms, with 31% more having died by suicide between 2010 and 2015. And in New Zealand, the percentage of 15- to 24-year-olds struggling with mental health has been steadily increasing, affecting

11.8 per cent in the past year. The estimated number of youth in NZ experiencing psychological distress has gone up from 58,000 to 79,000 in the past year. And tragically, NZ has the highest youth suicide rate among teenagers between 15 and 19 in the OECD.

What is causing this horrific increase, this crisis spiralling out of control? Grazzaley and many others argue that we just cannot keep up with the rapid rise of technology and it is impacting our brains and our well-being.

“Our brains simply have not kept pace with the dramatic and rapid changes in our environment — specifically the introduction and ubiquity of information technology.”

But it’s not only our brains that are impacted; it’s also affecting our emotions and our hearts. Jack Kornfield describes this crisis as:

Our Crisis of Heart.

“No marvellous technological developments alone  will stop continuing warfare, racism, environmental destruction, and global injustice. The source of these sufferings is in the human heart. Actions based on greed, hatred, disrespect, and ignorance inevitably lead to suffering.”

Gazzaley echoes this sentiment as he notes that “the increasing complexity, speed, and multitasking of our modern environment has overtaken our capacities, and we live disconnected from our own self and from one another.”

This disconnect from our self and from one another is perpetuating the crisis, and the crisis is spiralling out of control. So how do we get a handle on it, how do we deal with a crisis of the heart? Kornfield asks us to reengage the heart.

If actions based on greed, hatred, disrespect and ignorance lead to suffering, then it makes sense that actions based on their opposites — generosity, love, respect, and wisdom — lead to happiness and well-being.

Numerous studies have shown that there are ways to increase joy, compassion, peace, and gratitude. The benefits of mindfulness and compassion are well researched. The work of Richard Davidson, professor of psychology, is especially interesting. Davidson’s work at Center for Healthy Minds at UW Madison has shown that positive emotions such as loving kindness and compassion can be learned. This is great news; these positive emotions can be learned and nurtured to grow.

But the rapid rise of technology continues, and even as we work to hold on to the positive emotions that we are nurturing, the disconnect that Gazzaley described looms.

But there is hope. Kornfield is working with others to bring principles of heart and compassion into the field of technological development:

“Together with technology leaders, neuroscientists, and contemplatives, I have helped co-found something called the Open Source Compassion to bring principles of heart and compassion into all levels of technological development. We acknowledge that the capacities of modern technology are among the most potent of human creations. We are collaborating with companies and institutions around the world and beginning to formulate a kind of Hippocratic Oath for tech, which reads:

· We will not create technology that causes harm to humans and to life.
· If later we learn that it inadvertently does so, we will change it.
· We will strive to create technology that fosters human well-being and respect.
· We can create technology for profit, but not if it contravenes the first three principles.
· Working at all levels, we will act with professionalism and take these responsibilities as paramount.

Ultimately we must have hope; hope that there can be positive change and that love will prevail. Kornfield implores us:

Let these words be a reminder, a call.

Find your way to quiet yourself and tend your heart.

Promote love and spread the power of compassion in your work and in your community.

Have hope.

I’ll close with a wonderful video of Jack Kornfield entitled: ‘Wisdom, Compassion and Courage in Uncertain Times

I’d love to hear about how you deal with a crisis of the heart.
And as always, thank you for taking the time to visit. I appreciate it.