Transformational Relationships

“What I need is perspective . . . perspective is necessary.”

– Margaret Atwood


I was honored to contribute a post to a blog that I follow,  The League of Champions It is a wonderful blog and well worth your time to explore.  In their blog, Kevin and Leanna help people reach their optimum creativity through finding inner peace and loving themselves.  Leanna and I agreed to do guest contributions, so I am very happy to share with you their post on Transformational Relationships.

In an age where we can have information as fast as we can type, communication seems to slipping further and further from our grasp.  When it’s easier to face a computer screen, we often neglect to tell other people our needs – and we forget to listen to what they’re trying to say to us.  Have you ever wondered, “Why isn’t this person getting it?  Why don’t they understand me?”

There is a solution – by communicating and looking from a different perspective, you’ll not only transform your relationships with others, but also experience a transformation within yourself.

Sometimes we’re so loud in asking to be heard that we drown out the requests others are making of us.  This is nothing to feel bad about; we’re not doing it intentionally.  We all desire acceptance, and ultimately, love.  And we deserve it, too – so it’s not uncommon to become more and more adamant about getting it.  We just go about it in the wrong way, sometimes.

The solution is simply to communicate.  Easier said than done, right?  However, remember that there is strength in revealing your feelings, not in hiding them.  This is where the self-transformation comes in.  You owe it to yourself to act as the real you, and let your outside world reflect who you really are and what truly makes you happy.  More of yourself is revealed in your interactions with other people.  Meditating and soul-searching is important, but to avoid including others is like watering seeds and never setting them out in the sun.  Put that soul you’ve cultivated to use by involving yourself with other people – touch them, and share your love.  A way to share your love is through communication.  Your relationships will blossom as a result.

Tell someone how you interpret their actions and words: “When you say this, I hear…” and then be truthful about how they are coming across to you.  This allows them to either confirm or clarify their perspective.  You’ll get the chance to look through their eyes and see that, the majority of the time, they’re not trying to hurt you.  They’ll see how you feel and understand why you’re acting the way you are, and vice versa.  Again, you’ll experience a self-transformation by opening yourself to other viewpoints and possibilities of looking at the world.

To practice communicating more effectively, start with low-stakes situations.  Ease into it.  Or just take the plunge.  Sometimes you’ve pent up your emotions so much that a release is the only way to deal with them.  Remember, feelings don’t make you weak – they just make you human.  And you deserve to say how you feel.  Remember, it’s not so much what you’re saying, as how you say it.  Keep the goal in mind – sharing, love, and communication – and emotions like fear or anger won’t get the better of you and cloud the message.

When has effective communication helped you?

The League of Champions was founded by Leanna Dindal and Kevin Rae, with the mission of empowering people to achieve their own, personal definitions of success.  Developed with artists in mind, The League focuses on unlocking your creativity and finding the inner strength to make your life anything you want it to be.  Leanna and Kevin strive to live as Champions: excellent individuals with lives of independence, boundless creativity, and their own, unique self-expression.  Find out more at http://www.theleagueofchampions.com.

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